Touring senior living communities can feel overwhelming. Every building has a beautiful lobby and a friendly tour guide, and after a few visits they can start to blur together.
I've helped many clients through this process, and I've done it personally with my own parents. Here are the questions and tips I share with everyone, so you can see past the brochure and find a place that truly fits.
Before You Tour: Make Two Lists
Before you ever step inside a building, sit down and make two lists:
- Must-haves: what the building or apartment absolutely needs to have
- Nice-to-haves: what would be a bonus, but isn't a dealbreaker
These lists keep you grounded when a beautiful space or a great sales pitch starts to sway you.
Questions About Services and Costs
- What services do you offer, and what do they cost?
- What's included in the rent?
- Do you allow pets?
- Do you offer transportation? Is it only for group outings, or can you take me to church or my doctor's appointments?
- Is there a year-long lease, or is it month to month?
Questions About Care and Aging in Place
These questions matter more than most people realize.
- If I need care, can I stay in my apartment and age in place, or would I have to move to a different apartment?
- If my health changes, at what point would I need to move?
- If I'm moving with a spouse or partner, what happens when one of us needs care and the other doesn't?
- Are the health care providers in the building employees or contractors?
When I toured with my parents, we found a building in the city they wanted to live in, and it met all of their criteria. But it wasn't set up for aging in place. If one of them needed services, they would have had to move to a different apartment and even eat in a different dining room. That was the dealbreaker. They chose their second choice instead, and it was the right decision for them.
Their first choice met every criterion but one: it wasn't set up for aging in place. That was the dealbreaker.
Questions About Staff and Stability
The people who work in a building tell you a lot about it.
- How long has the person giving you the tour worked there?
- If the building offers health services, how long has the nursing director been there?
I'd be careful about moving into a building with a lot of staff turnover.
Questions About Money and the Future
- How much has the rent increased each year for the past five years?
- What improvements have been made to the building, the services, and the amenities?
- What happens if I run out of money?
- If there's a waiting list, how is it managed?
- Is a deposit required, and is it refundable?
Rent increases are a normal part of running a building. But you also want to see that those increases are being reinvested in the building, the services, and the amenities residents enjoy.

See Beyond the Tour
A single scheduled tour only shows you part of the picture. To get a real feel for a community:
- Visit twice. Go once during the week, and again in the evening or on a weekend.
- Stay for a meal. Eat in the dining room with the people who live there.
- Taste the food. It's important. You'll be eating it every day.
- Talk to residents. Ask them about their favorite and least favorite things about the building.
- Watch your tour guide. Do they know residents by name? Are they friendly and warm? It all tells a story.
A Word About Brand-New Buildings
My parents ended up in a brand-new building, and from that experience I'd offer this advice: don't be the first one to move in.
Even when the management company is excellent and everyone opening the building has experience, new buildings always have some growing pains and kinks to work out. Give a new building a couple of months to get going before you move in. You'll be happy you did.
Tips for Tour Day
- Bring another set of eyes. There's a lot to see and talk through, and having a trusted person with you is very helpful.
- Take notes. After a few tours, details start to run together.
- Keep the paperwork. You'll likely get a lot of printed information. Hold on to it so you can compare later.
Trust How It Feels
Just like choosing any home, you'll often make your decision based on how a building feels. Every building has its own vibe, its own heartbeat.
As long as a building offers the amenities you need for your lifestyle goals, the way it feels may be the deciding factor. Just don't let a good feeling cause you to overlook your must-haves.
You Can't Plan Ahead Enough
If you're thinking about a move, start looking now. If you find a building you love, get your name on the waiting list. You don't have to take the first available unit you're offered, but being on the list keeps your options open.
Considering a senior cooperative? Co-ops post their own vacancies in the Minnesota Senior Cooperative Directory, and Senior cooperative or condo? explains how they compare.
Let's Find the Right Fit Together
Helping people find the right senior living community is one of my favorite things to do. I know the senior housing options across the Twin Cities well, and I'd love to help you figure out which communities are worth touring and what to look for when you get there.
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Frequently asked questions
What should I ask on a senior living tour?
Ask what services are offered and what they cost, what's included in the rent, whether pets are allowed, what transportation is offered, and whether the lease is yearly or month to month. Also ask about care and aging in place, staff tenure, rent increases over the past five years, and how the waiting list works.
How can I tell what a community is really like?
Visit twice, once during the week and again in the evening or on a weekend. Stay for a meal, taste the food, talk to residents, and notice whether your tour guide knows residents by name.
Should I move into a brand-new senior living building?
Lisa's advice is not to be the first one to move in. New buildings always have some growing pains, so give a new building a couple of months to get going.
When should I get on a waiting list?
If you find a building you love, get your name on the list now. You don't have to take the first unit you're offered, but being on the list keeps your options open.
This article is general education, not legal, tax or financial advice.
