This is general information, not financial, tax or legal advice. Please talk with an attorney, tax professional or financial advisor about your situation.
If you work in senior living sales or marketing, you already know the feeling. You give a great tour, the family loves the apartment, and then the follow-up goes quiet. One senior living professional put it this way on LinkedIn: "The other 80% often ends up in a 'not now' category rather than a 'no' category." (Public LinkedIn comment, quoted in our Voice of Customer research.)
I work with older adults and their families in the Twin Cities. Here's how I help with the "not now" families without stepping on your process.
Why do families on the waitlist say "not now"?
When senior living pros talk about what's behind a "not now," three reasons come up a lot:
- The money is tied up in the house. The home is often the biggest asset, and it can't be spent until it sells.
- The family isn't on the same page. Siblings see the timing differently, or someone lives far away.
- The house itself feels overwhelming. Decades of belongings and memories make the first step hard to picture.
A senior living advisory firm summed up the first one well: the house "is often a family's largest asset, and it is also the one that takes the longest to turn into cash. That gap is where families get stuck." (Public LinkedIn post, quoted in our Voice of Customer research.)
What is a home-timing conversation?
It's a calm, free conversation with the family about the house, before anyone commits to selling. It usually covers four things:
- Value. A realistic idea of what the home might sell for, so the family can do the math on the move.
- Timeline. How long a sale might take from today, and how that lines up with the move-in date you can offer.
- Bridge options. Whether the family plans to sell first, move first, or use other funds in between. I don't give financial advice. The family can talk with their lender or a financial advisor about that part if they want to.
- Siblings. Getting everyone the same numbers and the same timeline, so the decision isn't stuck on different opinions.
Nobody signs anything, and nobody gets pushed. One agent and advisor wrote, "But can we please do the math before somebody sticks a FOR SALE sign in mom's yard?" I agree. We do the math first. (Public LinkedIn post, quoted in our Voice of Customer research.)
When is the right time to bring up the house?
When the family brings it up, and they usually do. One advisory firm called "Do we have to sell the house before mom can move?" "the question we hear in almost every conversation." (Public LinkedIn post, quoted in our Voice of Customer research.) That question is a good time to hand them off. You don't need to have the answer; you can send them to someone you trust.
How do I hand off a family without seeming pushy?
Keep it simple and optional. Something like: "A lot of our families have the same question about the house. I know a realtor who works with older adults and will just talk through the timing with you, no pressure. Would it help if I passed along her number?"
Then:
- Give the family my contact (612-599-3484, call or text) or, with their OK, give me theirs.
- I reach out within two business days and set up a call or a visit at a time that works for them.
- The family decides what happens next. Their timeline and your move-in plan come first; the listing date is set around them.
Will I hear back about the family?
Yes, if the family agrees. With the family's permission, I'll let you know when we've talked and roughly where they are on timing, so your follow-up isn't a guess. I won't share their private details without their OK.
Is there a referral fee?
No. I don't pay or accept referral fees or gifts for referrals of this kind. Federal law (Section 8 of the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act) prohibits giving or taking a fee, kickback or thing of value for referring settlement-service business on most home sales with a federally related mortgage. Your families get help with the house, and that can help the move happen sooner.
Who else can help these families?
Some families also want help from a move manager or an estate sale company. I don't do clean-out or packing myself, but I'm glad to share my list of local resources I trust.
More for professionals and families: Selling before moving to senior living · Moving to senior living · Helping a parent move
Have a family who's stuck on the house?
Book a free call to talk about how I work with senior living teams, or call or text 612-599-3484.
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Frequently asked questions
Do families have to sell the house before moving into senior living?
Not always. Some move first and sell later, and some need the sale first to pay for the move. It depends on the money and the move-in date. See selling before moving to senior living.
What does a realtor do in a home-timing conversation?
She helps the family understand what the house might sell for, how long a sale could take, and how that fits the move-in date. No one signs anything, and there's no pressure to list.
Is it OK for a senior living community to refer families to a realtor?
Yes, you can share a name. Under RESPA, no referral fee or thing of value should change hands for the referral.
Will the realtor take over the family's timeline?
No. The family's plan and the move-in date come first, and the listing date is set around them.
How fast will the family hear from you?
Within two business days of getting their OK to reach out.
This is general information, not financial, tax or legal advice. Please talk with an attorney, tax professional or financial advisor about your situation.